Te amare,en silencio.....

2011-03-24T19:23:00.000-07:00

电脑荧幕上，流光溢彩，

漫天宣布的，是你和她的喜讯，

荧幕前的我，错愕不已，

安静的房间里，我仿佛听见了，

心碎的声音。

厌.倦

2011-03-16T07:43:00.000-07:00

不理了。

你们的事情，我不想管了。

沉默是金?

2010-11-30T02:06:00.000-08:00

道歉，是一种风度。

道歉的本意是为了化解矛盾，解决问题，

而不是让人拿来当成话柄，来奚落道歉者，

甚至以“道歉的诚意”之名，

要求道歉者百般讨好，或借机对他冷嘲热讽，百般凌辱。

曾几何时，这样的价值观，已经不存在于我们的社会，

成王败寇的观念，

又是何时悄悄地蚕食我们的脑袋，在里面根深蒂固？

我让步，并不表示我屈服，

我沉默，并不表示我软弱。

我可以向你道歉，但不要指望我卑躬屈膝，

但你如果硬是要抓住我的弱点大做文章，

那很对不起，我对这种无意义的口舌之战没兴趣，

因为我不想跟你落得一样的水准。

仅以这篇文章，致于全天下的小人，

不管你是当道的，落魄的，还是在暗地里行动的小人。

让我们一起来大喊“小人万岁！”

当然，

如果你觉得跟我一起喊有失你尊贵的小人身份的话，

我明白的，

毕竟我们本来就不是同一个档次的。

This is to remind myself

2010-11-12T07:54:00.000-08:00

This is gonna stay on my wall for a few weeks to motivate myself to study:

Yes.I am working my ass off trying to memorize tons who-cares-about-that Ethics,codes and regulation just to ace in my final exam.Go on call me kiasu if that would please you.But at the end of the day,who isn't?Don't tell me "Result is not everything".Yeah go on telling that to your boss and job interviewers.That just don't work in the real world my dear.Maybe you should just go back to your castle and continue with your daydreaming.
Back to the studying.Ciao!

Just some thoughts

2010-11-02T11:20:00.000-07:00

*Warning:This is a post with a lot of gibberish talk,do not proceed if you do not wish to be bored*

It's has been a while since I updated my blog properly,a lot has happened since then.

Well,school days is pretty much the same,same old shitty schedule and the never-ending assignments and tests*eyes rolling*.But despite the workload,I have come to realize that I actually grow to like the course*hehe :-)*,well maybe not so much of the social part.I have met so many peoples,the friendly one,the not-so-friendly one,the shy one, and etc etc.There are times that I feel uncomfortable when I am in a crowd,there are times that I feel uncomfortable when I have to speak out,it's hard for me,but I know I will have to do it,slowly, step by step.Because the path I am gonna embark is gonna be a hard one,it takes a lot of courage,no one is gonna be there to teach you how to do this,how to do that,I guess you just have to figure that out for yourself,and the social thingy is not just gonna happen like that overnight,it takes some trial and error before you can actually get the hang of it.

So anyway,I have been reading a lot.When I say a lot I seriously mean A LOT.I think i seriously need to cut down on the reading time,because even my brother is complaining that I spent too much time on reading.Yes you heard me.It's my brother who is complaining.The one who would drive me to bookstore,buy me books for my birthday,lend me his collection of Sherlock Holmes(I never give it back,hehe)is complaining that I read too much.Guess I will have to switch off the reading button for the moment eh?Well exams are coming soon,so I guess yeah:-)

Another thing that I have been doing too often is watching football match~~Football is a ♥ wei~~I guess my love for football just escalated after the worldcup.♥ I would set my alarm clock and watch the match, sometimes even 4 in the morning.Sounds crazy eh?Well,that's how crazy I am.Haha~There was once that I missed 3 important matches in a row, and I was sulking for the rest of next day.Well,now that doesn't happen anymore because I have my own personal live updater!!*Awesomeness!!* Haha~It's actually a good thing that you found someone who shares the same enthusiasm,I loike the football talks we have on msn,all the threatenings and betting stuffs for the team we supported,and the wake up calls and messages when match is in early morning.Lol~:-)

Oh well,so much for the ranting and crapping,till next time!!Ciao~~~

You.Me.Us

2010-11-02T09:22:00.000-07:00

I am always a little silly and stupid for you.

When it's you,I couldn't say no.

Whenever I tried to escape from you,I always found myself back at square.

But did you really care about that?

Maybe yes,maybe no,I don't know.

Maybe you wouldn't even notice.

I kept it all inside,day after day,scared to let it flow,

because I know we wouldn't be the same anymore if I did.

But somehow I just got tired,

there is only so much I can bear before I let it go.

It might hurts,it might bleeds,

I might be all shattered,

but here I am,slowly picking myself up,

I ain't no superwoman,

I am just a small girl reaching for a big dream,

looking for a place that fits.

Crap

2010-10-12T04:56:00.000-07:00

I feel so tired of everything,I feel like giving up,
but sadly,giving up is not even an option for me.
I don't have the freedom to make mistakes,
and now I have don't even have the freedom to give up.
Sad enough huh?
Hell yeah.
I am just a pathetic loser that doesn't worth anyone's time.
Leave me alone.

蝶

2010-08-24T16:48:00.000-07:00

(我求你,
不要走，
留在我身边,
不要走,不要走
不要飞离我的世界。)

这双翅膀，
是我不能改变的宿命，
颠沛流离的命运，
并非我所能支配，
千言万语，
也只有一句对不起，
是我负了你。

(你可知道,
你的离去，
会把我生命中的一切都带走，
我的欢笑，我的眼泪，
我的一切。)

(当回忆只剩下沉默的痛，
生命对我而言，
像张苍白而空洞的脸谱，
不是没有情绪，
只是我已不懂如何去表达。)

命运,对我而言
是无奈的枷锁，
或许我只能像风信子一样，
随风飘散，
到世界的另一头
等待，
那永恒的相聚。

生日.快乐

2009-11-08T08:59:00.000-08:00

1108,我十九岁了。
　　下午，老爸老妈分别打了两通电话来，只为了祝他们的宝贝女儿生日快乐。挂了电话，忧郁的情绪来的让我措手不及，回想起过去十八年的点点滴滴，让我红了眼眶。，自以为是的我，常常在不经意间伤了你们，有太多悔恨,也有太多不该，而你们却总是包容我的一切。在我成功的时候，你们总是给于我最响亮的掌声；在我跌得遍体鳞伤的时候，你们会心疼的抱我入怀，为我擦去眼角的泪。有你们这样的父母，是我今生最大的骄傲。请你们给我多点时间证明我自己，到时我将会站在梦想的顶端，让你们以我为荣。
　
　　　回首这几年，我有一班肝胆相照的好友，从你们身上，我学会了包容，理解和尊重。我们曾一起经历欢笑，也经历了挫败，虽然如今我们天各一方，也各自走向不同的道路，但我们共同经历的一切，将成为我生命里一道永亘的风景。你们远隔千里的生日祝福，也为我这个在异乡的生辰，注入一阵的暖流。谢谢你们！

　　十九岁的天空，或许有太多的阴晴不定；十九岁的道路，可能有太多的艰难。但是我相信，只要我怀着梦想，怀着对生命的热忱，一遍又一遍地尝试，总有一天，我会走出属于我自己的道路，一条通往梦想彼岸的路。

　　　　　　　　　『十九寒暑应自立
　　　　　　　　　　羽翼渐丰待高飞。』

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　欣，
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　草于二零零九年十一月八日。　

10th April 2009,a memorable day.

2009-04-11T00:30:00.000-07:00

10th April 2009 ,I failed my law test.My favourite shoes got spoiled by my neighbour's dog.My first physics quiz result didn't turn out as good as I expected.And the worst of all,I noticed a crack on the external case of my laptop,and one side of it statrted to fell off!!!

Yea,BAD DAY indeed.

To most of my friend,I may appear to be the happy-go-lucky type of person.But deep down in my heart,I know that is not the truth.I hate failures.I hate the feelings when everything is out of control.Sometimes I refuse to try out something new,because I am afraid.What if people laugh at me if I failed?What if I don't get a good outcome? I might disappoint those around me,those who have their expectation on me.And the most important thing is,I am afraid that I might let myself down.

Yea I know,weird right?But that's me.I can't help it,although this is such a stupid and foolish attitude.Because of this attitude,I missed so many good things of of my life.I am so busy gusessing what people think about me,until I forgot to enjoy my life.I have decided that I'm not gonna let this stupid attitude ruin my life.I am so tired of live under other's expectation for 18 years.After today,I will try not to force myself to live up to other's expectation,but I will rather live up to God's will.I believe if I leave my life in god's hand,he will choose the best path for me.
Because he is my savior,and he love me very much.

"Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father keeps feeding them. Are you not worth much more than they?

Matthew 6:26

2009-01-29T10:24:00.000-08:00

喜欢,是一种什么样的感觉？

喜欢，是仔细保存你寄来的只字片语,即使是再简单不过的问候，也足以让我的嘴角弯起一个弧度。

喜欢，是听你诉说你和她的甜蜜事迹，并适时地给予回应，让你知道，你有一个好听众。

喜欢，是习惯在你苦恼的时候，帮你想办法。然后看着你眉头舒展的表情，就心满意足。

喜欢，是在每一篇文章的结尾，习惯性的加上一长串的省略号，你说，省略号代表未结束的故事，不管结局会如何，总是一个希望。

喜欢，是淡淡的牵挂。你一向不喜欢婆妈，所以，只是淡淡的，就足够了。

因为喜欢，所以独自承受；
因为不舍，所以愿意放手；
今夜淡淡月光下，有我淡淡的想念............

祷告

2008-09-25T07:26:00.000-07:00

祷告，因为我渺小
祷告，因为我知道我需要
明了你心意对我重要
祷告，已假装不了
祷告，因为你的爱我需要
你关怀我走过的你都明白
有些事我只想要对你说
因你比任何人都爱我
痛苦从眼中流下
我知道你为我擦
在早晨我也要来对你说
主耶稣今天我为你活
所需要的力量你天天赐给我
你恩典够我用

祷告，因为我渺小
祷告，因为我知道我需要
明了你心意对我重要
祷告，已假装不了
祷告，因为你的爱我需要
你关怀我走过的你都明白
有些事我只想要对你说
因你比任何人都爱我
痛苦从眼中流下
我知道你为我擦
在早晨我也要来对你说
主耶稣今天我为你活
所需要的力量你天天赐给我
你恩典够我用
有些事我只想要对你说
因你比任何人都爱我
痛苦从眼中流下
我知道你为我擦
在早晨我也要来对你说
主耶稣今天我为你活
所需要的力量你天天赐给我
所需要的力量你天天赐给我
所需要的力量你天天赐给我
你恩典够我用
所需要的力量你天天赐给我
你恩典够我用

2008-08-22T10:36:00.000-07:00

那时的天很蓝，那时的水很清，那时的我们，却太天真。

一直以为，纵然幸福只是是昙花一现的美好，也渴望拥有，哪怕是一下子。

可是终于得到的时候，才发现，原来稍纵即逝的美好，才最残忍。

事实就是如此，往往最在乎的，总归要失去。

早知如此，当初就不该留恋。甚至，不去想像。

傻傻的我，傻傻的你，傻傻的我们，在满是青涩的年代里，落下了伤痕。

我们的故事，就像盛放在青春彼岸的最后一场烟花，美丽到窒息，灿烂到悲伤。

痛快燃烧过后，指尖，余温残留。

擦肩而过的时候，错过的许多人，许多事，我愿用一生，来等候。

心情随笔。。。。

2008-08-15T07:48:00.000-07:00

当亲情，爱情，友情，理想，现实一同放在天枰上时，那一样显得更为重要？

沉重的压力，已经压的她喘不过气来。然而，残酷的现实却不容许她有片刻喘息的机会。

为了亲情，她放弃理想。为了友情，她放弃爱情。选了一条与梦想背道而驰的路，她常常问自己，你甘心就这样吗？不甘心，她不甘心。但是，她又能做什么？答案，始终是无解。

从小，她就走着已经为她铺好的路，做个乖宝宝。在别人期许的眼光下，她严格地要求自己，一定要做到最好。不知什么时候开始，乖宝宝开始变质了，她厌倦了活在别人的期望里。论家世，论教育，她所有的东西，都是一等一的。但是，她就是厌倦了。她渴望平凡，她渴望自由。别人看着她的眼光中，她总是可以轻易地看到羡慕。他们却不知道，她宁可用她的一切，来换取他们的平凡，哪怕是一秒，她也满足了。

但她知道，那是不可能的。当身边的人都期望她做到最好，她，没有任性的筹码。

如果有一天，我不再是我，该有多好？

Father's day!!!

2008-06-14T10:04:00.000-07:00

First of all,this post is specially dedicated to my dad!

Happy father's day!!!!Dad!

Well,I am now 230 km from home,and i can imagine that you are sleeping soundly in bed while i am writing this post,hahaha!

I just want to tell you.......

I love you ,
dad.

Well, this is why i choose to write this post in English.It's quite embarassing to say these words in chinese, but ain't that hard to say it in english....Hai,typical asians......

I love you,because:

1.You drove me to school every morning for 11 years.
2.Instead of shouting at me,you hug me when i failed my test.
3.You don't get angry when i shouted at you for making butter toast for me for breakfast(I love
kaya, hate butter),because you know i have bad moods in morning.You just smile and make
another slice for me.
4.You bought me a RM 2000 keyboard when i asked for one,although you really want to buy a
new handphone.
5.You don't blame me if i forgot your birthday,but you always remember mine.
6.You call me everyday, when i am away from home.

Lastly.....

I love you ,
because.........

You are my dad,my only dad.

放手........

2008-06-14T09:11:00.001-07:00

曾经，你对我说过，我是你永远的知己。
我苦涩的一笑，只是知己吗？
呵.....也好.....
至少，是知己，
总好过什么都不是......
我，还是幸福的吧.....

曾经天真地想过，
以知己之名，
握着你的手不放，
相伴你左右，
一直到老.......

我从没想过，会是你先放开我的手......

我羡慕她，却无能为力，
只因为，
你的心，
自始至终，都不在我身上......

在你的世界里，
我从来都只是个配角，
一个听你诉说烦恼的配角，
一个跟你一起寻找幸福途径的配角。
当你找到你的幸福时，
我是不是应该，
潇洒的放手，
离开不属于我的舞台，
去寻找属于我的幸福？

静静的来,
静静的走，
或许是最好的方法吧！
至少，
看不到，
听不到，
心就不会痛.....

First blog,first post!!!!!!!!

2008-06-14T06:42:00.000-07:00

Hai hai ppl!!!Welcome to my blog!!!Erm.....I am actually quite blur thinking wat to write for my first post.....I consider for a long long long time b4 creating this blog, becoz blogging ain't easy, it requires a lot of creativity,and I am never the "creative" type of person....Hiak hiak~ So there u go, enjoy my first post,and dun forget to give me some comments!!!Bye for now!!!

And the last thing.......

Thank you for tolerate with my broken,Ah-Xing styled english!!!Hiak hiak hiak~